I built the Screamer Sex Swing. My husband wrote the code on the website that sells it. Colleagues and friends helped test it. You should weight my opinion accordingly, and also understand that I can tell you exactly why every design decision got made, because I made them. That’s either a conflict of interest or … Read more
A field guide to beam mount installations for sex swings— and why your bedroom is the least interesting place to use one. There’s a version of this swing that lives in a closet with a hook in the ceiling and gets taken down before company arrives. I respect that version. I’ve lived that version. But … Read more
There is a whole category of sex positions that exist almost entirely on screen. You see them in movies, in those illustrated guides, in the kind of adult content people pretend they don’t watch. They look incredible. They look effortless. The camera loves them. And then you try one in real life and spend the … Read more
Sure you’re not. Pour another drink, let’s talk about it. Okay so here’s the thing. I’ve been selling sex swings for fifteen years. To over 80 countries. I have data. And I need you to hear me out, because the story you’re telling yourself about who buys these, and whether that person is you, is … Read more
People ask me about this constantly. How do I hide the ceiling hook? What do I tell the kids? What if someone comes over and sees it? I want to answer all of that. But first, I need to say something that might save you a lot of effort: Everyone already knows. Not about the … Read more
I’m a professional sex swing tester. Yes, that’s a real job. Yes, my husband is devastated by how hard he has to work. Everyone loves sex. Everyone wants more sex. Most people spend a lot of time wishing they were having better sex, or sex at all. And then there’s me. My job is to … Read more
So why haven’t you said it? I got a call once from a woman whose husband had just set up a sex swing in their bedroom as a surprise. She’d come home from work, walked into the room, and there it was. Hung from the ceiling. Ready to go. She wasn’t calling to complain. She … Read more
A customer story. In his words. I get a lot of messages. Most of them are questions about weight limits or mounting hardware. Occasionally someone writes in and I have to put my coffee down. This arrived in my inbox a while back. I’ve read it probably a dozen times. It has everything — a … Read more
Most installation guides default to the ceiling hook. It photographs well, requires the least explanation, and has been copy-pasted from one instruction sheet to the next for years. That doesn’t make it the only option. It makes it the easiest one to describe to someone who isn’t paying attention. If you rent, own a place … Read more