I built the Screamer Sex Swing. My husband wrote the code on the website that sells it. Colleagues and friends helped test it. You should weight my opinion accordingly, and also understand that I can tell you exactly why every design decision got made, because I made them. That's either a conflict of interest or the most complete product review you'll ever read regarding any swing. Possibly both.
The complaint I heard most, in the three years before I ever made a single swing, was this: sex swings hurt
Not dramatically. Not injury-level. Just… straps dig into the hips, sessions ending earlier than anyone wanted, boxes getting taped back up and slid under beds. Customers would reach out and describe the same thing in slightly different words: the swing they'd been excited about for weeks had become a source of mild dread. The padding was too thin. The straps were too narrow. Or they couldn't figure out the adjustment because it was maxed out, so they stopped adjusting and started tolerating, or worse, avoiding. Maybe this happened to you too.
We'd been running sexswing.com since 2010. Three years of stocking, testing, and using pretty much everything on the market. Some of it was genuinely good, like a Whipsmart. A lot of it had the same core problem: designed to look like a sex swing in a product photo, not to actually be comfortable for the amount of time two people want to use one.
There's a gap between those two things, and the industry had decided to live in it. Mostly because they were just getting swings branded with their logos, sent to sex shops or online retailers and end users didn't talk to each other- no one knew the swings were garbage.
Why I Eventually Stopped Just Selling Other People's Products
It wasn't a dramatic moment. It was incremental, the way most honest decisions are. One more customer who bought the cheaper version and got exactly the cheaper-version experience. One more email explaining that the adjusters only moved about a foot in either direction, which wasn't enough, and now the swing was uncomfortable for her and not at the right angle for him, and could they return it.
At some point I ran out of good alternatives to point people toward. The swings that were comfortable enough were priced high enough that most couples wouldn't pull the trigger. The ones in the accessible price range were thin-padded and limited. The gap in the middle, something genuinely comfortable, well-built, adjustable, and not absurdly expensive, with an honest company to back the product- just didn't exist.
So we made it. And then we kept improving it. The original Screamer was dual-hook. The handles started as tubing. The storage bag came later. The molded handle grip replaced the tube version after enough people told us their hands needed more grip. The version you can buy today is not the version we launched with, and that's the point. The market froze. We didn't. We listened, we innovated, we tested, we cared that our swings were not only used but truly enjoyed.
The Specific Problems, and What We Actually Did About Them
Here's where this becomes more useful than a normal review, because I can tell you exactly what we were thinking.
The straps were hurting people.
Most swings are built on 2-inch webbing. That's the industry standard, roughly the width of a seatbelt. It's fine if you're sitting in it for three minutes. It's not fine for the kind of sessions people actually want to have. We went to 4-inch webbing, with 4 inches of padding, on both the seat and the backrest. The difference is immediate. It's the difference between a wooden fence and something you might actually want to sit in.
The adjustment range was too small.
Most swings use a triglide adjuster. Works fine, until you realize it only gives you about a foot of travel up or down. If the swing is set for one partner's height, it's not set for the other. We switched to cam buckles, which give around 5 feet of adjustment range. You can actually dial this in for your bodies.
Hips.
Single-hook swings have a spreader bar at the top that sets the width. You get what you get. We switched to a dual-hook design specifically so the width could be adjusted. Mount the hooks farther apart, you get a wider seat, more room for hips, more comfort for anyone who isn't built like a centerfold. Two hooks also distributes the load across two anchor points instead of one, which is a structural argument as much as a comfort one. We also offer a 360 twist with a bar, but we designed our bars at 32″ wide. This gives the same effect as a wide spaced dual hook.
Hands had nothing to do.
This sounds minor until you're in a swing. When the person in the swing has nothing to hold, they instinctively try to brace, which engages muscles that should be relaxed, which is the opposite of the point. Handles. We added handles.
Nobody thought about the neck.
When someone reclines in a sex swing, there's nothing supporting their head. Neck and core stay engaged the entire time. Three minutes in, the neck hurts. Five minutes in, they want out. We invented the headrest: it attaches to the back strap and supports the neck completely. The difference is immediate, and it's why every swing from sexswing.com includes one as standard. We made it universal. Even if you have a different swing, the headrest will work to add a little more comfort.
Nobody thought about storage.
Most swings are permanently attached to a metal crossbar at the top. You can't break them down flat. They live in a corner, hanging there being conspicuous, or you shove them in a closet and its awkward and not easy to hide or store. We designed the straps to be removable from the hardware, so the whole thing folds down to roughly the size of a shoebox. It comes with a storage bag. That bag is not glamorous, but it is functional and compact.
It gets messy. It should be washable.
Direct consequence of the removable straps: you can take them off, put them in a laundry bag, and wash the swing. This comes up more in real life than the product page implies.
What Real People Say (For Third-Party Credibility, Since I Have None)
I understand if you'd prefer to hear this from someone who didn't make the thing. Fair.
AMAZING! WAY WAY WAYYYYYYYY BETTER than that bargain POS my wife got off Amazon. She would complain about straps digging in and hurting. She was cozy in the Screamer and regularly requests it now.
— Phillip Eddins, age 37, verified buyer
We tried a cheaper swing to see if we would like it. It wasn't comfortable but we did see the appeal. I purchased the Screamer as a Christmas present for my wife. All I can say is BEST Christmas ever.
— Ben Sage, age 44, verified buyer
This is our third try with a swing and our first one that actually worked as she wanted it to. Very comfortable, unlike most, easily adjustable and quality construction.
— Anonymous, age 50, verified buyer
The pattern in the feedback is consistent: people who came from cheaper swings feel the difference immediately, and people whose partners previously refused to try a swing again find those partners reconsidering. That's not a coincidence. Comfort is what makes something you try once into something you use regularly. The swing being “fun” is not enough. Lots of things are fun once, my goal is unlimited fun.
What I'd Change If I Could Do It Over
This is the part of a normal review that doesn't exist, because normal reviewers don't have this information. So here it is.
The spring. The drawbar spring we use is significantly better than what comes with most swings, and it matters: the spring determines the bounce and motion quality more than almost anything else in the assembly. But I'd push harder on this earlier. We got questions about spring noise for years before we addressed it as clearly as we should have. If your spring develops a squeak, a little petroleum jelly on the coils takes care of it. I wish that had been in the videos and website from day one.
The color options. Black is practical, and it's what most people want. But we've had enough requests for other colorways that I know we're leaving something on the table. That's a production complexity problem I haven't solved yet.
The instructions could assume less. They're fine if you've installed anything structural before. They're not quite enough if you haven't. We've compensated with installation videos, but the instructions used to ship in the box could've been better. We have found a QR code to the instructions page is the sweet spot now.
One More Thing,
I've been selling other people's swings since 2010, and I still do. Different budgets, body types, use cases, all of it. The Screamer isn't the right answer for every situation: if you need a sling for extended comfort, you want a sling. If the door swing fits your life right now, start there. I'm not trying to put myself out of the business of recommending other people's products.
But I built this because I knew my customers deserved the best product and that my opinion was the one they listened to. I knew I had to design the best sex swing for my people. The reviews are real. The problems it solved are ones I watched real customers and myself have. The things I'd change are actual limitations I'm aware of, not confessions buried in fine print.
If you want the swing, it's at sexswing.com. If you want a swing from someone I have no financial connection to, I respect that too, and I'll tell you what to look for: 4-inch padding, cam buckle adjusters, metal hardware, a headrest, and a dual-hook option if hip comfort matters. Those criteria were written from fifteen years of watching what swings fail and what swings delight people.
This is the Cadillac of swings. No other swing will ever live up to my expectations ever again.
— Anonymous, age 55, verified buyer
That review made me happy, and I'll admit it.